Perfectionism is Fear Disguised as Excellence

Third grade. A homework assignment I can't remember the details of anymore.

I do remember the paper. Wrinkled from erasing. Smudged from trying to fix it. The harder I worked to make it perfect, the messier it got.

I got frustrated. Then ashamed. Then I ripped it up.

Turned in nothing. Didn’t get credit for the assignment.

What I didn't understand then was that the messy version would've gotten me an A. I had the right answers. I showed my work. The teacher knew I understood the material.

The mess didn't matter. I thought it did.
So I chose a zero over imperfection.

I've been watching leaders make that same choice my entire career.

What Perfectionism Actually Is

Most leaders don't call themselves perfectionists.
They say they're being thorough. Setting the bar high. Still working to get it right.

That's not always what's happening.

A long-term study of more than 41,000 college students found that perfectionism has increased 33% since 1989, with the sharpest rise in socially prescribed perfectionism: the belief that other people expect us to be flawless.

Perfectionism rises as uncertainty rises. When leaders feel watched, judged, or exposed, perfection becomes the shield they grab.

And the research is clear:

• Leaders with perfectionist tendencies have lower-performing teams

• They make slower decisions without better outcomes

• They innovate less and recover more slowly from mistakes

Perfectionists don't make better decisions. They just make slower ones.
And in business, slow has a cost.

The Choice Leaders Make Every Day

A founder spends a year building a new service without talking to a single customer. They have a vision of the “perfect” product.

When they finally launch, they learn the market wanted something else. A year of work before getting any learning.

A CEO refuses to release new messaging until the brand guidelines are perfect. By the time it’s ready, competitors have already moved ahead.

A leader drives such high standards that the team stops experimenting. They walk on eggshells. They optimize for safety instead of ideas.

Different situations. Same underlying choice:
Perfectionism disguised as diligence.
Fear disguised as care.
Choosing a zero over imperfection.

What I Learned Later

My first executive coach told me something that changed how I work.
"Your intuition is right nine times out of ten. The other time, just own it and move on."

Leaders don't struggle with information. 
They struggle with the willingness to be imperfect.

At Real Food Works, a meal delivery startup I helped build, the first website didn't have integrated payments. The CTO processed credit cards manually.

Not scalable. Not elegant. Useful.
It got us data. And helped the company move forward quickly.

We could've spent six months building the perfect system. 
We launched in days. 
Those imperfect early days taught us so much.

This is where the Pareto principle matters.

The 80/20 rule says that 20% of your efforts create 80% of your outcomes.

Perfectionism convinces you that you need 100%. You don't.

I had a client doing $1M in revenue across multiple service options. Analysis showed one particular customer type and one software option generated 80% of results.

They wanted to build a comprehensive strategy with partnerships and technology. Instead, we focused on scaling the one thing already working well.

Result: a plan to triple revenue with 20% of the effort.
Perfectionism would have pushed them to build everything. Clarity let them build only what mattered.

When you focus on the small amount that really matters (the “vital few”), the other 80% doesn't need to be perfect.

What Actually Works

After coaching hundreds of leaders through this, here's what breaks the pattern:

Define the actual outcome.

"Launch the website" is a task. "Double time on site" is a goal.
Perfectionism thrives when the finish line is too vague.

Set your minimum viable version.

What's the messiest version you'd be willing to show? Write it down before you begin.
Boundaries shrink perfectionism back to size.

Trust your intuition.

You already know the decision. Ship the draft. Make the hire. Launch the imperfect version.
Stop waiting for it to feel safe. It may never get there.

Measure progress, not polish.

If your team can learn from it, it's ready.
Perfect doesn't scale. Learning does.

Turn in the Messy Homework

The third-grade homework wasn’t about neatness. 
It was about demonstrating I understood the work.

The messy version would’ve done that.
I chose not to turn it in.

Leaders make that same choice every day:

Launch something imperfect and learn.
Or launch nothing and stay safe.

They don’t ship the product.
They don’t make the hire.
They don’t commit to the decision.

Not because the work isn’t ready.
Because they don’t feel ready.

Here’s the truth: you will never feel ready.
Certainty doesn’t exist.
Perfect is a fantasy.
Good enough is a strategy.

The leaders who move fastest aren’t the ones waiting for perfect conditions.
They’re the ones who turn in the messy homework.